Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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