Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
