On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
