Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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