The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
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