Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
