So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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