So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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