Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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