I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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