Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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