stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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