Can Purell be used as lube?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
