i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Randomize
