Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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