i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she pinky promised me she was 18
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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