do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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