what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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