How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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