the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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