maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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