I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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