Have you finally orgasmed yet?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
