there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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