remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
