where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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