I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
