brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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