so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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