I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
