I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I am available for nakedness
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
