her vagine was all disorganized.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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