it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
