wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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