She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
