sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
