We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Randomize
