u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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