We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
