i don't like sucking hair
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
