a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Randomize
