Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
