was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
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my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
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brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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