I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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