I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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