i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
