You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
