I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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