Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
