He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
