Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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