So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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