her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
