Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
