you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
tonight lets celebrate not being married
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
