What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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