she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
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