just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
