cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
