I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
