Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
