So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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