Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
