Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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