the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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