I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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