apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
