Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
