You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
