if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
