Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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