i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
